move back please.

You took me from my life, I feel like i'm living in a nightmare i don't even bother getting comfy with people anymore because every time i'm happy with my life, some one has to rip me from my happiness, no big MY feelings don't count, nobody gives a fuck so why the fuck should i give a fuck about how you fucking feel?
I had a good life, i had friends who would hang out with me at school and after school if we asked to chill. I had a bus pass to take me anywhere i wanted like my boy friends house, the mall or the movies. Now i can't go shit any where because there is nothing to do in this shit town, fun fucking life right? i fucking hate you right now and i don't think i can ever forgive you for doing this to me.
my school is fucked up
my relationships with friends is fucked up.
i care,
you don't

Fuck my happiness.


I miss my old life, my old house, my friends, my boyfriend.
i miss waking up and taking the city bus in the morning
i miss taking the bus after school
i miss school
i miss going to my boyfriends house every weekend
i miss being able to be independent and not depending on you driving me every where,
i miss being happy.


depressed is what i should be, because every time i do get happy, OH LOOK LETS FUCKING MOVE BECAUSE NICOLES FUCKING HAPPY.

d e p r e s s i o n.
i need help.
i need to talk to someone.
i need to let my anger out.
i need to move back, before i hurt more.
i need to get out of this place.
please please please, let's move back..

i can feel your heart beat

birthday wish list;

* Trageus piercing, or top ear.
* My lip pierced, or my tongue pierced.
* My nails done
* New underwear and Bras
* Money
* Camera


I know i won't really get any of this, but a girl can wish for things.

just 70 more hours until i'm in your arms again,
kissing you,
telling you how much i love you and i love you to your face,
hugging you,
smiling at you,
laughing with you,
playing with your hair which you love,
i can't wait to see you babe<3

I miss my old school, why do i always have to move, why can't i have a normal life? why can't i stay at one school, be happy with friends and graduate? Now i live in a shit town, with a shit life, the only thing good about it is my boyfriend is actually staying with me, i love you so much.
CAN I PLEASE MOVE BACK, i hate change :(
i miss how everything use to be, i miss taking the buses to you, i miss taking the bus to school and after school, i miss hanging with friends and being silly, i miss having to walk outside and seeing your face, i miss everything why can't i reverse time and stop the negative things :(

Love happens, it is so incredibly messy. People around you can't comprehend why you do the things you do, or why you fight so hard for something that seems to cause you so much pain, because simply, they can't see. They can't see the invisible ring of insanity that surrounds you when you're in love. It's inconvenient and painful and devasting at times but we can't live without it. What you don't learn is how hard love is, how much work it takes, how much of ourselves we have to put into it, how it isn't worht it until we are complete and utter idiots about it.

Love isn't her calming you down, when you yell. It's her yelling just as loud , just as hard, right back at you, right in your face to wake you up and keep you grounded.

It's right after a long fight that drains the life and bones right out of you both, and yet her showing up at your door the next morning anyways, it's not her saying all the right things or knowing exactly how to handle you, so no, it's not her caressing your hair and telling you everything is going to be okay. it's her standing there admitting she's just as scared as you are.

andrew landon

Do you just use me, as in to call me your girl? Because if you do that, i don't want to waste my time on someone who doesn't even love me. You say, don't talk to guys, don't even look at them. I don't. You write in a message, i miss you with a heart. Oh alright there buddy. AND SOME GIRL writes on your wall jtm, i love you reallyod. HEART WERECKED. i have one more thing to say, good bye......... forever

suck it

money money money

Hi there, i just want everything.

; nose hoop - 25 $
; double nostril - 25 $ + 10 = 35 $
; lip 50 $
; trageus 40 $
; cartilage 60 $


; shirts $ 75
; shoes $ 100

total - 385 !

well it's not a lot, but like half the things are piercings and piercings are expensive.. goodbye money.
First pay check i get, bye!

you read my mind

I think i'm pretty much done asking for things all the time when i fucking get " yeah next week", " yeah tuesday".. i think maybe tuesday will be when i'm fifty years old when i already passed and lived half my fucking life. WHY DOES EVERYONE HAVE TO LIE TO ME, tell me the truth don't over whelm me when you say something i want to hear. JESUS CAT FISH. Plus i think i'm done with, the fact you can piss me off but i can't piss you off. IT DOESN'T WORK ONE WAY!

hey you, can i rip your head off?

" so kiss me like you did, my heart stop beating" - the used.
I had that lyric stuck in my head when we started kissing a million times. You still owe me a million more because of how many times you didn't kiss me when you were suppose too. If only we can fight like we do all the time, like we did yesterday. It took us five minutes to apologize and talk it out. Why do we have to be so stubborn when we are on the phone? or when were talking on the computer? Why do we fight and yell all the time? why can't we just work it out like were suppose to. I know we say we will do it all the time but it feels like we never do it..

So please kiss me like you do, because every time you do my heart does stop beating. It misses a beat because i feel like every time i look in your eyes i fall right back in love again. Not like i stop loving you i just love you even more when you look at me with those big brown eyes. You don't really know how much you mean to me and you don't really know how much i care. I may act like i don't but i really do. I can't stop caring and i don't think i will ever stop. Not like i am.. but anyways.
Whatever you do to me, i forgive but i will never forget. I can't really stand being in the same class with the girl who almost tore us apart. Who you almost let her tear us apart. I don't get it, i can't grasp the feeling anymore. Can i rip her head off? Please.. i think it will make me feel so much better knowing she has no head to talk to.

i need a hair cut..

i got a gold chain, i'm on cocaine

Nobody's going to break me or put me down anymore, i am so not putting up with everyone's shit. You talk shit about me behind my back, or i do so. Fuck you, your out of my life i don't need you. It's not like your going to be there for me when I'm on my death bed so fuck you and go have fun getting your ass fucking kicked by bitches who give a shit about what you say. TOODALOO motha fucka

your just another black cloud following me around, what's going to happen if my umbrella goes up? or the sun comes out?

howdy do da day

LAYER 1: ON THE OUTSIDE.
Name: Nicole
Birth Date: January 12
Current Location: Laval Quebec
Hair Color: dirty blond
Righty/Lefty: Righty

LAYER 2: ON THE INSIDE.
Your fear: Death
Your dream of the perfect date: just gazing at the stars.

LAYER 3: YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW.
Your thoughts first waking up: why the fuck did my alarm clock not go off
Your best physical feature: i really like my feet.
Your bed time: Whenever i want
Your most missed memory: last summer, when everything was better

LAYER 4: YOUR PICK.
Pepsi or Coke: Coke
McDonald’s or Burger King: McDonalds
Single or Group Dates: Either.
Adidas or Nike: Nike
Chocolate or Vanilla: vanilla
Cappuccino or Coffee: Coffee

LAYER 5: DO YOU.
Smoke: No
Cuss: Yes
Take showers: Daily almost
Have a crush: no
Like school: sometimes, depends
Believe in yourself: depends
Believe what goes around comes around: TRULY
Believe everything happens for a reason: yes.
Think you’re a health freak: i can be.

LAYER 6: IN THE PAST MONTH.
Gone to the mall: Yes, today.
Been on stage: no i have not
Eaten sushi: no i have not.
Been hurt: yes.
Dyed your hair: yes.

LAYER 7: HAVE YOU EVER.
Played a stripping game: LMAO yes
Kissed the same sex: Yes
Got beaten up: No
Changed who you were to fit in: Yes, but fuck it i only live once so I'ma be what i set out to be

LAYER 8: GETTING OLD.
Age you’re hoping to be married by: whenever i know i'm in love
Number of kids you’re planning on having: 2

LAYER 9: IN A GIRL/GUY.
Best eye color: blue
Hair color: blond/brown
Short or long hair: shaggy
Fat or fit: Average/fit
Looks or personality: i would love both :)
Fun or serious: Both

LAYER 10: WHAT WERE YOU DOING.
1 MINUTE AGO: thinking about how hungry i am
1 HOUR AGO: peeing
1 WEEK AGO: chilling by myself
1 YEAR AGO: probably hanging out with sarah

LAYER 11: FINISH THE SENTENCE.
I feel: hungry
I hate: features on my body
I hide: my face when I'm crying
I need: money
I love: neon colors.

LAYER 12: FAVORITES.
Band/Singers: forever the sickest kids, all american rejects
Color: Barney purple, Sky blue
Food: chicken(L)
Thing to do: kiss my boy(L)

LAYER 13: RANDOM.
How long have you known your best friend?: less than a two years
When’s the last time you kissed someone?: wednesday
What’s your middle name?: kimberly
What are you excited for?: birthday
Do you have any saved texts on your phone?: yes i do
What’s something random about you?: i like finding photos that express myself.

damage is done

secret confession : i wish i didn't have the feel or need to impress someone all the time, or to look pretty and sit there and be dumb, i wish i had the balls to go out to the movies in sweats no make up on and a baggy t. I wish i couldn't give a fuck about what people thought about me, whether I'm tall, skinny, fat, short, ugly, pretty. I wish i didn't have to worry about anything about the way i looked. I wish people never called me beautiful, or pretty, or ugly. I wish mirrors didn't exist so we don't have to see what we look like 24/7 . ramble ramble rage vent ramble rage vent.

secret confession 2: i wish i never was on the vurge of crying in cute movies, i always picture myself in their shoes and i know some movies are not based on a true story but it does happen in real life other than the happily ever after part. Hannah montana movie you suck for making me have tears in my eyes.

babe

I wish today never happened, i wish i could wake up all over again and re-do everything. I wish i never called you and made you want me to call you. I wish we never fought as much as we fought. I can only wish so many things, but if i had one wish it would be to have no wishes at all. You never loved me, cared for me or missed me. Your a faker, a phony, a liar, a cheater and so many much more things i could name right about now. You fucked with my feelings, and knowing that that's all you wanted fucking kills me inside. SO fuck your feelings, all i ever wanted to do was make you happy with or without me. guess your without me now and you're doing fine, not like you show that your hurt or anything even though you pretend you are. Your just a poisioned apple that my mom told me about a billion times and i kept going in to bite it, and when i finally bit it.. i forever sleep now until my prince charming goes and kisses me upon my lips. Something you will never understand, something you will never do because you do not understand the meaning of love. You only understand the meaning of f u c k. Either " let's fuck" or " fuck you" to anything that moves. I know you could care less about me, and that's what hurts inside. But to grow up and mature, is to let the ones you once loved behind. You were the thing i most cared about. guess it's over now babe.
guess forever doesn't exist if were not together, even though your forever tattooed across my pretty little demented heart.
i do love you, as much as you hurt me. As much as you've thrown me around and broken me into two.. i do love you after all this. Always have.. always will.
xo

MY FACE IS BREAKING OUT :@

Last thing i need is my fucking face breaking out, ftw